Tears to Shed
by Lidsworth
Summary: Sakura believes she's weak. And when Kakashi Sensei get's brutally tortured because of her failure on a mission, she goes and makes things right. However, it isn't until afterwards when Kakashi realized his feeling for his student, and realizes how hard life without her can be. Warnings: mentions of rape, character death, suicide
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Because I have yet to see a story like this, i decided to post one on my own. I've seen all of those stories with sakura getting hurt or raped on a mission, and kakashi helps her, but i'm doing it differently, i'm going vice-versa, because Sakura may not be the best ninja, but she's a good person. Sometimes, it's better to be a great person in heart, mind, body and soul rather to be one of the most powerful people on earth. So, enjoy.**

** warnings: suicide, character death, mentions of rape and torture**

**Tears to Shed**

He wished it wasn't pink, he wished it wasn't individual and just plain simple, he wished it was just a name scraped into the memorial stone in the center of the Konoha Cemetery. He convinced himself that it was a dream, that everything about this small pink stone in the of the graveyard was just a distant dream.

Yet, not even two weeks after the funeral, Kakashi was standing by the lonely grave of Sakura Haruno, whose stone was shaded by a weeping willow suitable for the occasion.

At the end of the day, he reminded himself that it wasn't his fault, that her death had nothing to do with him, or so, he attempted to. She had gone off on her own, she'd known what she was getting into. Yet she did it, she did it to prove that she wasn't weak, she did it to prove that she could pull her own weight, and most of all, she did it because of her Sensei, because of Kakashi.

Kakashi winced as he stood by the stone, the pain from his previous experience jolting through him. Emotions threatened to spill, but he pressed on, forcing nightmares behind him.

The feeling of her touch lingered on his face.

OOOOO

She walked slowly towards the hospital room, a broken flower in her hand. She wasn't prepared to meet him, she knew that after this, things would be different between the two. It wasn't like her Sensei had any unique feelings for her, this, she was certain of.

Perhaps, to Kakashi Sensei, she was another girl attempting to be a ninja, another girl that messed everything up. Yes, on their previous mission, she had messed everything up, but it wasn't just she who suffered, it was every one.

Kakashi suffered the most though. His screams still penetrated her skull like rocks being thrown at a fish bowl. She remembered the small dark room they were in, the pain in her knees as she was forcefully pushed down, her mouth gagged and hands tied tightly behind her back...the smell of blood and other bodily fluids as Sakura was forced to watch a demon unjustly violate her Sensei.

She violently shook her head, tossing the memory into the darkest depths of her mind.

She was already at the door, visiting hours would be over soon. With a deep breath, Sakura put her hand on the cold knob and twisted. Stepping in the room Sakura silently closed the door behind her, the broken flower bobbing up and down as she did so. She bit her lip to prevent tears from rolling out of her already watery eyes. She wanted to divert the painful sensation she felt building up like a wad in her stomach, the guilt that formed beneath her skin when she saw the still figure of her Sensei on the bed just feet before her.

He'd already had many visitors, she could tell by the large amount of roses and cards left beside his bed table. These gifts were beautiful, flowers ranging from the brightest colors to the darkest, each had it's own individual taste in accordance with its sender.

And here Sakura just had a pale pink rose, it's color's fading and its stem broken. There was no note, no card, no anything, just the flower.

Sakura placed it as neatly as she could in the large array of "Get Well Soon" gifts, and cast a long glance at her Sensei. ALmost every inch of what she could see had been covered in white gauze. His arms were sprinkled with IV's, while his breathing remained shallow and steady. His eyes fluttered frantically behind his eyelids, and Sakura could only imagine what he was being forced to relive.

She extended an arm and brushed her Sensei's masked face tenderly, withdrawing her fingers slowly. She wanted her touch to linger on him, because that would be the last time he felt her touch, whether he liked it or not.

Sakura was certain of that.

OOOOO

It wasn't really a team, at least that's what Sakura thought. Maybe if it were just Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto, it would be a real team. Sakura was dead weight, and in her eyes, that didn't qualify as a real factor to a team such as Kakashi's.

So, as Sakura walked to the site where she had been captured, the moon high above her head and the area shrouded in trees, she concluded that she wouldn't be missed.

Without asking the Hokage, without even telling her friends or her parents, Sakura had left the village in the dead of night. She had ten kunai, five shuriken and five paper bombs, one of them saved for something special. The only thing on her mind was revenge, revenge she knew didn't come free.

Sakura was proud of herself for remembering where it was, who it was that attacked them. She was with her entire team, they'd all been caught (though she had been caught first, as always), and the three boys had come to save her, and had been caught as well. The torture ensued, and they hardly made it out alive. Backup was called, and their Sensei's soul was barely hanging on.

Now, however, she'd prove to the village that she could be strong; she'd prove that she could protect her Sensei, she'd prove that she could be a ninja. She was tired of being weak and being teased, even Naruto looked down on her. She was jealous of him the most. He was so annoying at first, so mannerless, so parentless...but Sasuke was parentless, Kakashi was parentless.

She couldn't relate, it was as if she didn't feel their pain. THey didn't let her either, they didn't try to reach out to her, and it was always everyone else, but never her. She wasn't worth their time. Kakashi valued Naruto and Sasuke, yet thought little of her. She always got them into trouble, she always got them hurt.

Now it was her time to shine.

She'd remembered the area well. She had been traveling for ages, and it wasn't even midnight. However, her arrival would be in a little under an hour. She'd already put enough distance in between her and the village though, they wouldn't know of her absence until later. But, that meant more enemy nin were tailing her, and she was partly surprised that none of them had attacked her yet. Perhaps they hadn't seen her as a threat?

As she continued her midnight stroll, she paused when she felt the presence of another behind her. Without hesitation, she threw a kunai towards that direction, adrenaline pumping like fire through her veins. The weapon was deflected as the sharp sound of a click resounded in the air.

The figure stepped out from behind a tree, staring sadly at her.

"Lee..." she said sadly as she looked at him, "Why?"

He didn't have to explain anything to her. She took notice of a small gash on his arm, and realized it was he who had killed the enemy nin that she had never encountered, he'd been watching.

"Guy Sensei, Tenten and Neji are fighting further back..." he said silently, "I'm here to retrieve you. Only the Hokage and my team have noticed your absence, we can go back_"

"Lee, I have to do this, " Sakura stated plainly, "I'm tired of people suffering because of me, you heard what happened to Kakashi Sensei because of me...If i had never gotten captured, if I had just been stronger..."

"So you're doing this for Kakashi?" Lee asked simply, his eyes downcast.

Sakura didn't answer, but she never relinquished the grip on the dagger she had in her hand. She walked onward towards her destination, and silently, Lee followed, understanding her feelings about her Sensei completely.

Stopping her would be easy, but it wouldn't be morally right. And though Lee had a mission to bring her back, he couldn't deny her of the relief she were to achieve by killing her previous captor. So, he followed.

There were enemies on the way. Sakura and Lee fought them all, doing so as quickly as they could to escape the rest of Team Guy. Sakura had used most of her weapons, though she still had one dagger left, one shuriken and two paper bombs.

Gotta save the last one...she reminded herself.

When the destination had been met, Sakura asked to go alone. She remembered the house well. It was in a clearing, the grass red from blood, the smell of iron hanging in the air. With confidence, she walked inside the house, Lee respecting her orders and keeping watch outside.

What she did next, Lee didn't expect. She looked at him one more time, reaching in her bag and pulling out her second to last explosive tag. "Thanks Lee, thanks for believing in me," and with that, she threw it at the roof of the small house, caving in the exit.

The house was just a disguise, however, when inside there was a large tunnel that led underground. As expected, this was one of Orochimaru's subordinates she was dealing with, she had to tread carefully if she wanted to win.

She sensed the powerful chakra towards the end of the tunnel, and as she did so, she grabbed the paper bomb from her bag, crumbling it like a ball in her hand. She could feel an immense chakra, it had to be more than one, yet the top dog was still towards the end.

As she walked through the dimly lit corridor, she finally saw the door illuminated by candles. The tag was clenched so tightly in her hand that it was covered in sweat. Still made no difference. She stood feet away from the door, getting into a kicking stance.

"This is for you, Kakashi...I just want to be on Naruto and Sasuke's level for you...I want you to know I can feel your pain too, i want you to know i care too!"

She tossed the tag in her mouth and kicked the door down. She could hear footsteps behind her, most likely team Guy's...she could hear their pleas for her to stop and turn around, but she'd already swallowed and closed the door behind her, meeting the shocked expression of the demons inside of the room.

She saw the one who had tortured her Sensei, she saw the chair he had been tied up to, and the bed he had been chained to. The man charged, but it was too late, she'd already released the jutsu preventing the bomb from exploding.

Sakura petals flew everywhere, covering the cadavers of the dead bodies around her.

OOOOO

"Stupid girl!' Kakashi shouted as he looked at the gravestone, his heart aching "Why couldn't you just be straightforward with me? You could've taken all the time in the world, we could've taken all of the time in the world...we could've talked...we could've understood each other..."

Guy had told him everything. Neji had used his byakugan to see the worse.

"Yelling at the dead won't bring them back, Kakashi-san," Kakashi jumped and spun around, coming face to face with Sakura's mother holding a bouquet of roses. All red and pink, just like their daughter.

"She was beautiful..."Kakashi said, not sure of what else he could say without falling apart, "her appearance was so rare."

Her mother laughed, "That's why she was so special to us, you see," she placed the roses by the grave, "My first child, Miya, was a stillborn, my husband and I adopted Sakura and brought her to Konoha to live with us. Her original mother was a crackhead and a prostitute while her original father was a rich man who wanted nothing to do with her, she never told anyone though; I doubt that she even remembers...or remembered, that is."

"Oh..." Kakashi said, his image on Sakura changing, "I wasn't aware."

"Like I said, no one was," She bowed to Kakashi, "But partly, I think the reason why she didn't tell anyone was because she had such great people in her life to distract her. She cared a lot about you Kakashi-san, she always wanted to prove to you that she was someone."

Kakashi smiled, "She did more than enough by just speaking and showing up. I know that other's called her annoying, but I enjoyed being around her, in fact...never mind, thank you for lending your daughter to me."

"No problem, Kakashi-san, I'm glad you trained her."

As Sakura's mother left, her daughter's touch still lingered on Kakashi's face.

OOOOO

"Another specimen, wasted," Orochimaru's voice drawled out as he walked through the array of body parts, kicking a head and a leg every now and then. He was truly disappointed, his latest recruit had shown potential, and now here he was, splattered amongst the bodies of others.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto called from the far end of the room, "i found something." Orochimaru walked over and was greeted with the torso and up of a certain pink haired leaf nin, "Do you think we could mend her? IS her brain still intact?"

"Yeah, it's still intact, though it's a miracle that her body didn't completely blow up, why was she here anyway?" Kabuto asked curiously as he carried the half of a girl with him.

"Who knows...but bring her along, she may just be another promising specimen, if we can rehabilitate her and train her..of course, her memories will have to be altered as well, but I'm sure we can handle that."

"I'm sure we can, Orochimaru-sama, I'm sure we can..."

**If it wasn't obvious, this was HARD for me to write. But i must say, i think i enjoyed it. So, Sakura's obsession with Kakashi kinda led her to go insane. She loved him a lot, i'm not sure if he returned the feelings though, that's left for the reader to decide. I hope you liked Orochimaru and Kabuto's bit (those two are just hilarious to me, gotta love them) :D This is just a short, simply, and sad story. I made a Sakura that I liked. Anyway, please review, tell me watcha think :D Oh, and set aside a time to pray for the people in Boston, that story was terrible, and it's sad that people do that to others. SO, let's let God do what he can for those people(While we help because God has to work through us to do things). So, have nice week, be thankful for what you've got because it can be taken away in an instant. God bless :D**


	2. Author's Note

**AN: I'm writing a sequel and a prequel, it's not over yet. The sequel will actually explain the mission that resulted in the story itself, while the sequel will open up with Sakura in Orochimaru's hideout. Also, i'm not sure if i'll add the sequel to this story, or make it a separate story. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one, expect some more chapter later this month, God Bless :D **


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